I was taking the 15th street exit and stopped behind a long row of cars at the red light. I thought, good, I have a few seconds to enjoy my cinnamon flavored quaker instant oatmeal I bought at the neighborhood Costco in a jumbo pack. I looked up and out the window on a pleasant overcast morning--and that's when I just about lost my appetite. I understand we all have to prepare ourselves in the car in the morning. Applying lipstick, or make up is totally fine. Even if you are dude that needs to shave in the car, I can even handle that. I mean heck, all of that is part of my saving time in the morning program (which is listed below). So I TOTALLY understand.
But this is where I draw the line with a permanent marker--or even blood.
This woman rolls down her window okay. And she takes her brush out, which looks like she got it at Pets Mart. And she starts ripping out the hair out of her brush like it was steel wool someone would use to clean off a pan. I was so disgusted! I truly understand it's necessary to do that, but does Austin really need to see that? And it was in front of everybody, and what made even more terrible was in the mist of ALL this traffic with engines, radios, and people talking on their cell phones...I could still hear her yanking the hair out of that brush. It was SO GROSS. And I kid you not, and I am so serious about this. She was SO busy getting this hair out, that when the light turned green she didn't notice--and of course she looks up and floors it. But before she floors the gas pedal, she gives the brush one more really good tug, and her hair flings into the face of the homeless guy on the corner of the stop light. HOW SAD ! So if you are that lady reading this right now. I'm not saying you are an icky person, but please, just do that in the privacy of your home where innocent people don't have to suffer from your hair pulling.
The people in my building are so strange. You can smell people from where they were. For example, I'll walk into an empty elevator, and know someone who was smoking just got off. I haven't been too misfortunate to smell something outside of that, just the regular ladies' perfumes. But that streak ended for me yesterday when I was leaving the building. My brother told me the reason why old people smell is because their bodies are rotting from the inside out. Well...I didn't believe it at the time, but now it might be true. I was in the elevator going down to the garage, when this old lady walked in. And you know when someone walks by you or something, a brief whisk of air brushes by you. Well that happened to me, except in the elevator...meaning that brisk of air just circulated in a wind tunnel around me because it had no where to go. The old lady's smell took physical form and turned into a white powder mixed with perfume solidified cough syrup and into my lungs. And what's worse, and this type of stuff always happens to me. The old lady gets off the elevator, but I still have to go down a few levels. But then right before I get to my level, a young lady, of course beautiful walks in while the smell is still in the elevator...I just KNOW she was thinking , wow...this guys smells like a dirty hooker monkey's bottom.
2 comments:
I hate it when a smell lingers somewhere, especially an elevator. For a while, my hotel room desk smelled like wet burnt toast. I kept checking the area to see if I had dropped a piece of bread somewhere, but to no avail. Thankfully, the smell is gone.
This just takes me back to the Seinfeld episode with the stinky valet!
ROFL @ dirty hooker monkey's bottom!
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